A Model of Perfect Love

By:  Dale Weckbacher

John 21:15

¹⁵ When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.”

(ESV)

The discourse of Jesus with Peter after His resurrection provides an interesting insight into uses of the words agape and philia which are both translated love into English.  Jesus asks Peter if he agape’s Him with Peter replying he philia’s Him.  Agape is perfect love coming from God and the level of love Jesus offered on the cross (John 15:13).  It is a level of love unattainable by humanity in a fallen state but is the example Christians are to try to follow in their love for one another.  Peter’s reply of philia or brotherly love shows understanding of his failure by denying Christ and that the best level of love he believes he could offer is brotherly love or friendship.  However, Peter did come close to showing the level of agape love by dying for his faith. 

One could also consider philia love as a level of love below storge or affection.  Perhaps a better English translation would be saying we like someone.  However, some consider friendship as love for trusted people in their life with other friends in their life considered acquaintances.  However, for Jesus the level of love is always agape or perfect love (John 3:16-17).  With our goal in love working towards agape love, we must decide what we must do to work towards this level of love.  Perfect love is,

1)      Patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) – Driving in any big city illustrates the abundance of impatience in the world resulting in road rage.  However, we can become impatient in love when someone does not live up to our expectations engaging in love rage.  Our spouse may not live up to our expectations of what we believe constitutes a perfect spouse.  Our children may not live up our expectations of their potential.  The truth is that when we place high expectations on another, we are actually idolizing them, and when they fail, resort to love rage due to our impatience.  Fortunately, Jesus knew we were sinners (Romans 3:23) when he died for us and due to his agape love, died for us anyway (Romans 5:8). 

2)      Humble (1 Corinthians 13:4) – Another biblical term for humility is meekness, found in Matthew 5:5.  However, meekness is not weakness but quiet strength.  On the cross Jesus showed quiet strength for he had access to heaven’s power and yet willingly fulfilled his mission by dying on the cross and raising from the dead three days later in a demonstration of conquest over death.  Agape love is a quiet demonstration of strong love even in the face of adversity.

3)      Centered on others (1 Corinthians 13:5) – Jesus said the greatest among us are those that serve (Matthew 23:11).  Once again we turn to Jesus as our example for He left the glory of heaven, became one of us, and died in our place. 

4)      Truthful (1 Corinthians 13:6) – When asked by Pilate if He was a king, Jesus responded with his purpose being to bear witness to the truth (John 18:37).  Pilate’s response was what is truth, ironic for the truth was standing right in front of him (John 14:6). 

5)      Forgiving (1 Corinthians 13:7) – Jesus is the perfect example of forgiveness but in his parable of the unforgiving servant Jesus tells us to forgive others because of the great debt Jesus paid on the cross (Matthew 18:21-35). 

While in our fallen state we may not achieve perfect agape love as Jesus did, we can move from philia love towards agape love through practicing love according to the pattern of 1 Corinthians 13.  The Beatles sang the song “All You Need is Love.”  While the song is not a Christian song, as a believer in Christ I believe all the world needs is more of the agape love of Christ.  My prayer for each of those reading this is that they would strive to show greater agape love in their lives.